Tuesday, January 21, 2014

grown up

I know I haven't been blogging much lately. There used to be a time I would document my thoughts for future reflection, but it seems these days even though I do still think, and feel I should be putting it down on (virtual) paper somewhere, it just doesn't happen.

Aberdeen's been a good place. An ok place. It could be a lot worse. But sometimes I just miss the people in Nottingham. There's just no sense of belonging here. I'm just some outsider who happened to land a job here. It's not that the people are unfriendly or elitist or anything like that. It's just that there is a lacking of the deep bonds between people that only time can create.

Give Aberdeen some time and it'll spin those bonds as well. After all, what's six months compared to two and a half years? But sometimes even more so, I find myself yearning for Australia. The place I should have been. The UK - whether it's Nottingham or Aberdeen - is just transit. Temporary. I was not meant to have roots here.

In a way that is affecting my motivations in life - such as learning to drive, sitting for postgraduate exams, collecting cooking utensils, starting a vegetable garden. Why go through all the trouble when I will not be here fro the long term?

I do want to get started on those things, yet it's all the moving (Wick) and uncertainty (won't know where I'll be placed for GP rotation in F2 - could be anywhere from Bachory to Peterhead), things like where to stay, whether I should continue renting my current place for the next year. I've probably said it before, but I'm just fed up of uncertainties.

It's not to say there won't be troubles or uncertainties in Australia, but god I want to get there, like, asap. And I dunno. Settle down.

3 more night shifts left to home. I love hearing airplanes flying overhead - those sounds evoke fond memories of leisure travel and journeys home. I've half a mind to bring back to Kuching quite a few things though. I may need to be able to live out of two suitcases if I decide to take the nomadic pathway. Thinking ahead, as always.

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