No of posts planned: at least 4
No of posts finished: 0
No of posts published: 0
Damn you, muse. Leaving me halfway like that. It's not fair.
Holidays almost over. Playing my old Linkin Park songs at full blast.
Parents away in Singapore for the weekend. Wonderful. No more having to constantly remember to keep an eye on my laptop. No more parents swooping down to 'see' what I'm doing, where I'm surfing etc. No more having to close all MSN windows after chatting for fear of parents scrolling up and taking their time analzying what I've been talking about with friends. All in the name of 'what have you got to hide?'. They come in like 10 times a day. I have to protect my social life from their prying eyes. They want to know my friends. They want to know who I'm talking with, about what, why. I can't let them see any Friendster page or I'll be stuck explaining the life history of said friend, while they glare are the photo of the friend like a time bomb. They check my blog like twice a day, more than and before any of my friends. They interogate me in a manner that would make the KGB proud if I want to go out with friends. Last night, my mom spend a better part of it asking 'is there something you want to tell us? Do you want to talk about something?' over and over again till it drove me nucking futs. I felt like saying, 'Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant' or 'Oh I happen to be a hardcore junkie' just to satisfy them. It's like they want me to tell them I have some deep-rooted problem that only they can help overcome. Pfft. I've also been sorely tempted to just surf for porn and leave my laptop lying around. Or write a suicidal post. Hah. Bet that's what you want, no? To catch me red-handed with something like that you can lecture me summore. Like once I stayed out late night once. Playing pool. So, everything boils to that.
'I really have been studying.'(HONEST to God)
'Yeah, by playing pool till 3am'.
FYI, two weeks before semester I was studying my ASS off. Going libraries every goddamned night. Didn't touch my laptop/any form of my usual entertainment for two whole damn weeks. But knowing my perpetually screwed up life, I will probably do badly in semesters despite the hours of serious intensive study, and you will think I was lying about studying and was actually playing pool till 3am every single day. All I've worked for = 0.
Well fuck that.
Wheter I 'go out' or not, you guys don't trust me. Therefore, I might as well, right?
I know you guys care. That's probably the reason I've gone out for a grand total of ONCE with friends these 2 weeks. And it's not even my usual gang. I spent the first week doing assignments, and the second week getting nagged to study (study what? I didn't even bring my books back) and getting asked 'have you finished your assignments' twice a day. Hello?!?!?! You guys are not even fifty!! Or is senile dememtia kicking in early??
Why can't you guys be like normal parents?!!? Normal parents don't give a shit what their kids blogs are. Normal parents don't treat a guy friend they've never met like a potential rapist. Normal parents don't pry into their kids lives till the point of 'observing MSN chat sessions'. Normal parents do not have problems understanding the notion of 'social networking through tuition'. (when I explain I know xxx from tuition last time, they cock their eyebrows and give a the 'look' as though I said I was born of a sea slug.)
I long for Subang. Away from suffocating surveillance.
Subang!!! Subang!!! Freedom!!!
Now all I have to do is forget to bring something important/screw up some massive thing so my parents can gleefully use it as a lecture material and as proof #23568273658 that I am still a naive, incapable, incompetent little girl who needs to rely on her loving parents for every single fucking thing. Then, my sad, pathetic little life will be complete.
I am completely aware that ranting on my blog will ease little fustration as they are the ones to read it first. And if you must leave a comment, I suggest you sign in as annonymous or my dad will trace you to your blog, read all about you, then read about your friends' blogs, and their friends.