Take it easy

Maybe it's the depressing monsoon rain, or the fact it's a Sunday, or my own fault for letting bloody kiasu-ness get the better of me. But I can't get anything in right now. I've been quite needlessly stressed and depressed lately, cause unknown. Idiopathic.

The only thing worse than being stressed and depressed is the fact that I shouldn't even be stressed or depressed. It is completely unjustified. The semester 4 ICA is a relatively light one. Three systems. One day. It's not like I'm a dental student or semester fiver with their endless ICAs and ten systems. If three systems make me want to sit at my desk and do nothing but facepalm for the rest of my life, how am I going to survive semester 5? Or clinical school? Or work? Or hell, life?

I think I know what I need. I need human contact, personal touch. I need someone who can motivate and spur me on with the right amount of push. Someone who will remind me of the bigger picture and purpose, to take my mind off the kiasuness that clouds my mind. Someone young enough to understand and correlate, but on a slightly higher, wiser level to be able to guide.

I think this rules out batchmates and parents.

I can think of one person who fits the description. But he's rather far away at the moment. I'll just have to make do with my own wits. Inner flame, yeah. Now where are my matches.

I feel like sleeping on the couch again tonight.

Yes I'm quite aware I'm jinxing myself by saying this

So I was one the plane on a short 40 minute flight from Singapore to KL. There was this kid in the foremost row screaming her lungs out. You know how people like the exaggerate the use of 'scream'. But I'm not. This kid was screaming like her life depended on it. We hadn't even taken off yet.

I was hoping the G-forces of take off would stuff the screams down her throat but noooo she still bawwww'ed abd bawwwww'ed like monster. Powerful lungs. Maybe she'll gow up to become an opera singer or something. I was developing a headache (and mind you I don't usually get headaches) and my butt was clenched. It was all I could to to prevent myself from walking up and giving the monster a good tight slap and telling her to shut the fuck up and other nasty things I won't tell here.

Then somewhere else another kid decided he wanted some attention too so he started screaming as well. It was like a screaming contest between the two, one screech after the other. It was seriously not fucking funny at all.

The first girl won.

But what the fuck man. I've flown lost cost airlines a few dozen times and I know what it's like. Cramped spaces, bare basics, screaming kids. I've been on flights with half a dozen crying kids and am generally tolerant with it, but I've never encountered this kind of crybaby before. Ear-splitting is the word. As soon as the seatbelt sign went off the steward rushed to open the overhead compartment to take out a teddy bear.

It didn't work. Only when the poor father took the carried the girl up and down the aisle did she finally shut the fuck up. I thought it was a toddler or something. Two years old, first time flying, that sort of thing. But no this kid was about five or six. Definitely not an age I could forgive for causing such a racket.

Maybe aircrafts should have a soundproof cry room for such kids. Or laws that state kids who misbehave will be forcefully ejected from the aircraft, and I don't care how many feet up we are.

God I can't stand kids. I'm no good with them either. I definitely do not want any of my own in the relative near future. I aim to be a dink(double income, no kids) yuppie for as long as I can. Thank heavens for contraception. Yes I know I was a screaming kid once etc, but that's why I know I don't want to subject myself to the same.



You all have probably seen this ad before, but I'll still put it up anyway.

Drifter

Day in day out life remains constant. It's November already. I love what I'm studying but sometimes the whole monotonous cycle of exams, non-exams and holidays feels like a dead-end job already.

I want to be the person who travels the world on her own. I want to be the person who globe-sets with only a small suitcase and an instrument that will let me get by. I would be the person who sits on park benches all over the world, watching life pass by. I would be the one who appears in dusky-looking polaroid photos with backgrounds of fields and back alleys. And at the end of it all, I would be the person who could look anyone straight in the eye and say 'I have lived life without any regrets. Zero.'

It's either quarter-life crisis kicking in, or just mild depression secondary to hunger. Whatever it is, I've got to work.

Gentleman's Quarterly is quite a good read. I may get myself an updated issue.

Lousy random shit

Every morning, the first thing I do (even before I shit and pee etc) is to open a game of solitaire on the computer, and play a game. If I win, I know it will be a good day. If I don't win, I know it will be the opposite.

I happen to lose most of the time.

























Still wondering how many of you believed that. (inb4 zomg lameeee WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN)

If I got a dollar everytime I told myself to get off my fatass and study/be productive, I would be so rich I could buy land.

Right now it's back to STOP WASTING TIME FFFFFF-

Change we can

When the idea of the House System for IMU Cup surfaced, I was dismayed. I was so hoping to get throught the whole rag again with batchmates like we did last year. I believe many others shared the same opinion I did.

As time wore on I carried a hope that the organizers would give in and revert the evidently unpopular House System back to the Batch System. It seemed to be the mass opinion that the House System was 'stupid' and 'unnecessary'. Everyone reminisced the good old days, talked about petitions, boycotts, etc.

But as usual, it was just talk. And so, it became evident that the House System was here to stay.

Before we knew it, it was the end of the first quarter, and the first House meetings were held. Committees formed, positions taken up, events and trainings planned. I went along with it, albeit more than a little grudgingly. I barely knew anyone in ny house save a fraction of friends and acquaintances. I didn't believe it could really work. But knowing me and my inability to stay completely detached, I signed up for a few events.

I won't go through the long process of describing how every event went, but to summise we were quite the late bloomers. At first we were barely winning anything, then in the past two weeks or so, the wins started coming in and the next thing you know, we're doing not too bad.

And along the way, I lost some, won some, cheered some, played some, missed some, and met all sorts of people - juniors, seniors, other batches - people whom some names I can barely remember, but nevertheless shared the same bated breath during deciding moments or cheering another House member on during winning or losing streaks. The anticipation, joys, frustration, determination, disappointments, unity, respect, differences, the sense of belonging - feelings were still there, only with different people. And so I realized one thing.

It wasn't the House System I was against. It was just change that I couldn't tolerate. The acceptance simply came with time.

I must add a kudos to the organizers - students and staff alike. It wasn't easy reinventing the entire structure of IMU Cup and dealing with the critisms of those who argued for the return of the traditional system. But they handled each stumbling block with perseverance I can only admire. I'll admit I was one of those who joined the 'vehemently against' camp, but now, after it all, I'll say I'm glad it this year's IMU Cup happened the way it did.

And tonight will be the mega finals of IMU Cup - the cheerleading competition. I opted out to save me some time, trouble and grief (lol, but I do know what I'm passing up here) but I'm still very much looking forward to the performances tonight. From the bits of routine and stunts I've seen here and there, it looks good. Very good. IMU Cup did keep one of its traditions after all - to go out with a bang.

And that's just what will happen. :)

(Hard to belive just earlier this year I was fretting over EOS3. It feels like such a long time ago now.)

EDIT: No top three. Oh well. ITS THE SPIRIT THAT COUNTS

Dinner, /ck/

Kitchen Experimentation Series #n

Subject: Microwave Pizza


Tortilla, tomato puree, green bell peppers, random meat, mushrooms, garlic, mango, ordinary sliced cheese, random spices. Microwave for 5 minutes. Shit was soooo cash.


Garlic butter on French bread.

I'm actually really happy with the results. :) I also learnt that I love French bread. Very much. And tortilla wraps are the shizz. I think I just love all sorts of bread. And for the record no I didn't eat it all by myself, it was shared with a housemate ^^.

I made awesome dinner, got my weekly groceries for RM30, and jogged 5km. Now if only I could get some studying done, my day would be perfect.

We're back to being twelve-year-olds

Had a sneak peek at tomorrow's lecture on Human Sexuality.



This looks like an interesting lecture, hope I'll be able to stay back have it. Track is tomorrow evening *gulp*.

Repro is indeed a good time to challenge the sexophobic in all of us, hur hur hur. Much like everyone else around me, upbringing and environmental influences have made me conversation-shy when it comes to serious sex talk, the occasional dirty joke not withstanding. I think I am rather open-minded, and it doesn't change when it comes to sex, not even when we're masking our awkward curiosity behind light-hearted sex-joke fronts and immersing ourselves in the SCIENCE OF REPRODUCTION.

But deep down I think we all wish we could talk about and discuss sex openly. Despite all the advancements in technology, how my generation have so many resources at our fingertips and how we are supposedly 'more open' about sex than our parents were, people still shy and shirk from the topic because it's, quite simply put, sensitive. Sex is still very much lumped under the socially forbidden topics along with the touchy aspects of race and religion. Very little has changed.

Or maybe that's because a vast majority of my social network are Asian-conservative, or Christian, or science students, or all three.

I don't think people are knowledge-deprived at all, just wary. We skirt the subject like we avoid, say, rats. When we see a rat in a hawker area, we try to walk around it and pretend it's not there, keeping it only in the farthest edge of our peripheral vision to make sure it's not running towards us. We know it's there but it's easier to pretend it doesn't exist, than to reprimand the hawkers for bad hygiene or call the local councils. Similiarly, discussing sex in a serious manner will involve much soul-searching, conflict of opinions, intense debate, hurtful judgement, awkward confusion, guilt attacks, and a lot of emotional energy that people aren't willing to invest in. That's just the way it is.

For now I'll just leave this article here, and I hope will you read it, because it's one of the most open-minded and thought-provoking articles on sex I've ever read. If only the world had the mindset and clear-headedness the author(s) had. World peace will be achieved in a snap.

Back to diseased genitals.

What's on your mind now?

Too many things, I wrote.

Like why I can't type into the status update box on Facebook.
Like why the bass amp keeps on blowing.
Like the way we lost darts by a tiny margin.
Like why I'm spending my Friday night wondering if I should work a makeup shift for the ones I missed, or go for table tennis training, or help the MCS guys move the instruments three floors up.
Like the conversation we had last night.
Like why I can't seem to study.
Like the track and field training tomorrow and whether I can actually do 1.5km, 4x400m and 2.9km road relay without embarrassing myself.
Like why there are ALWAYS clashes with music room booking times.
Like the way certain things our minds encounter and interact with, can mess with our psych so much.
Like they way I always try to be punctual for meetings and trainings, knowing well I'd be the first to arrive in an empty room.
Like how thirsty I am right now.
Like whether I should catch a movie this weekend.
Like why I am so bad at sports.
Like why I can't appreciate Muse.
Like why I am not remotely interested in any of the upcoming anime this fall season.
Like why the pakcik's nasi paprik wasn't as tasty as before. (Should I have had my usual nasi goreng cheena?)
Like whether I am making full use of my time and youth.

Sometimes I think we'll never know.

Food-making (mis)adventures

Spent a good chunk of my Raya break at home chucking things about in the kitchen. Behold the results of my endeavours.

#1

Chocolate cupcakes - didn't rise at all, barely sweet. Then I realized it was because I used rice flour instead of wheat/all-purpose flour. Apparently these things make a difference. Ah, the wisdom I pick up from baking. White lumpy stuff is some microwaved marshmellow I experimented with. I know you're repulsed. I understand.

Verdict: FAIL

#2

Basic from-scratch pancakes - fairly hard to go wrong. This came out rather decent. Top with honey and you've got a breakfast that'll make your day.


Verdict: WIN

#3

It's homemade bread - but I bet you couldn't tell. Well it is supposed to look something like this:



Wonder why it didn't rise. Should I have not opened the oven to check every 5 minutes?


Anyway it actually tasted pretty okay. If you know me, you'll know I like squashing breadstuffs before eating them. So unleavened bread is actually my cup of tea. :P Plus the strong taste of yeast reminded me of how those white loaves smelt and tasted after I'd folded them into eights....bliss. (Don't mind my quirks.)

Verdict: FAIL-WIN

#4

Sushi from a sushi-making kit. It was pretty okay. The kit was incerdibly weeaboo though. White powdered vinegar? 'Free mat inside'? They might as well have said 'put sushi (a type of Japanese food) into bento (Japanese lunch boxes) that are pinku (Japanese for pink) and kawaii (Japanese for cute).'

Good lord I've been lurking /ck/ too much.


Made do with cheapo celery and crabstick and it still tasted ok because powder vinegar rice still tasted awesome to my relatively inexperienced palate. No fancy stuff like unagi or roe, because Kuching is well....Kuching. Imported stuff is hard to find and expensive. The kit was from Australia (which explains the weeaboo-ness a little).


Verdict: Semi-WIN

#5

Chocolate cupcakes take #2 - now this turned out a lot better. In fact it tasted pretty good. Only thing is I kinda expected it to rise and spill over like bakery muffins. Recipies all warned against filling the cups too full for fear they'd rise too much and stick next to each other. I filled each cup up to half and it rose probably about half an inch. What is it with me and self-raising flour that doesn't raise?


Marshmellows weren't so fail too this time. Ah this batch was nearly perfect. I'll just fill all cups to the brim next time.

Verdict: WIN :)

#6

Saturday was COOKIEDAY where I mass made cookies and sealed them up in containers to bring to KL. Followed the age-old recipe as usual, but the only problem was somehow I couldn't get them to be all crispy and crunchy. The middle would be a little soft and chewy, and if I left them in the oven for a while longer they'd come out chao ta.


If you can't taste this, comfort youself in knowing it has too much sugar and butter that's good for you. :P

Verdict: WIN WIN WIN (health fail)

It was my mum's birthday on Thursday, so I played chef de cuisine (with my dear younger brother as sous chef) and made a three-course dinner for my family for kicks. It was fun pretending to be a 5-star chef and maitre d' at the same time.

#7

Mushroom soup from scratch - no canned liquids, mind you. Mushrooms, celery and leek simmered in milk and stock and blended. It was the first time I'd used a blender to make soup and it turned out better than expected. :)


Fresh cream and chives on top - do I pass presentation?

Verdict: PASS-WIN

#8

Seafood carbonara - it's sorta hard to go wrong with pasta, but the angel hair got a bit overcooked and ended up looking a bit like kolo mee. Lol fusion food. My parents liked it though. :3



Sprinkled parmesan and basil make a world of difference. And fresh parsely makes everything better.

Verdict: WIN

#9

Um some crummy attempt at posh-looking dessert. It was well-received. :P

Verdict: PASS

#10

Birthday cake made by yours truly. Ah dragees. It had a little weird aftertaste, probably due to the extra baking powder I added into self-raising flour amid fears it wouldn't rise (again). But on the whole, more than a little decent. Played around with cream/icing for the first time. :D

Verdict: WIN

Well that's my cooking/baking itch well scratched. Back to studies. On a side note, repro looks like it's gonna be fun. :P And I should stop visiting 4chan and failblog.

Something Some Things

Today, I did two new things. I made pancakes. And I played beach volleyball.

All I can say is, pancakes are awesome, and damn I should've signed up for IMU Cup volleyball and just trained for it. Is it too late for me to join the club?


Some lolcat for well....lolz.

Oh the internets

Because some things are too epic to be left out.

Side note: there's this new fad saying in my batch. Something like 'lowsia'. I have no idea of it's origins or meaning, but for some reason I get annoyed everytime I see it. Must be one of those baseless pet peeves.

Going back Kuching for Raya tomorrow weeee.

You Know You're In Med School When....

ALL the bands have some medical-term related name. Let's see.

PUS (Pick Up Symphony)
Carcinoma
Insomnia
Z-band

and the most recent addition..........

THE STDs

.....Sound Transmitted Disease.

I'm in med school alright.

Power Jump!

....and that was RIGHTT before someone (must've been me) kicked a plug and all our amps went offline. At least it was near the end of the song, and there was an additional 8 bars or so of drum solo. Lulz.

Want to see the video? If you're resourceful enough you'll find it. :P

Harder Better Faster Stronger

Sometimes I wish I were a robot or a computer - programmable. My 24 hours will be programmed to the last detail, and whatever is set will be done and accomplished. 8 hours sleep. 6 hours study. 1 hour eat. If I allocate 2 hours to do an assignment, it will be done by the end of those 2 hours. If I sit down to study adrenal glands, I will remember and never forget. If I set myself to jog for an hour, I will not stop running for that hour.

There will no longer be crap like try-to-sleep-but-cannot-sleep or study-tak-masuk or oversleeping or 15-min-break-becomes-3-hour-break. I will be completely 100% effective.

Am I delusional?